UNCENSORED AND WHO CARES ANYWAY?

NINE MONTHS, NO BABY. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

March 29, 2013 1 comment

Cartoon-panic-attack

OK, I am now in a place where I can talk about the past weeks medical events.

MONDAY: The invasive x-ray that I insisted on seeing in real time. Unfortunately, I have been through this enough times to see that news wasn’t going to be the best.
THURSDAY:Saw my Wonderful Doctor! He saw the same thing in the x-ray that I saw but was in a better position to interpret the results. The best news would have been that it was time for a takedown of the ileostomy. Worst news would have been this was to be a permanent fixture in my life. (Believe it or not, I have prepared myself for that by assuming the worst.)

Luckily, Dr. Wonderful had a few more things to say about it. There are three choices.

1. Just hang around for another three or four months and see if it heals itself finally and try not to think about it. (Right, not going to happen!)

2. Have another invasive procedure that Dr. Wonderful will perform while I am knocked out so that I won’t be there to assist in the diagnosis. (Smart man.) This will give a clearer picture of what is what in there and decide if #1 or #3 is the best solution.

3. Surgical do over and start the process again. Not the best option, but a possibility that exists. Not as frightening as I once thought but not what I want either.

4. Accept my new friend as a life partner and get on with it. The down side to this is more subtle than obvious. The most obvious downside of this for me is the eventual acceptance that I will just have to deal with the effects of cruciferous vegetables in a fashion that cannot be done without having to actively participate in it.

I have finally gotten to the point that I can honestly only rely on the words of a very succinct philosopher of our times:

“And so it goes…”
— Kurt Vonnegut (Slaughterhouse-Five)

 

HELL, YES vs HELL, NO! aka ROUGHAGE

November 20, 2012 1 comment

The importance of diet has become critical for me. In other words, when they say, “No roughage” they mean “NO ROUGHAGE.” Okay, I put some celery in my chicken and rice, I pulled all the strings off and knew that that would make it ok. WRONG! Then there were the water chestnuts. Given an opportunity I will put water chestnuts in everything. I even chopped them really, really small. Again, WRONG! And, who the hell knew pimentoes were considered roughage. Certainly not I.

I will not go into any further details except to say that the after effects kept me bedridden for two days, on the verge of tears over my own stupidity, and a repeated mantra of soft food only, soft foot only, soft food only!

Don’t even go there with me!

Categories: Uncategorized

FOLLOWING MY OWN ADVICE

May 18, 2012 Leave a comment

 I finally did it. Set up that secondary email account so that all of those fabulous shopping sites I love, registrations for retail outlets, email collection requests by hapless clerks and cleaned out my main account for more meaningful content. Like, uh, when someone repins one of my posts on PInterest, and the ever pleading requests for donations from the Obama Campaign. Yes, this is a secret address and makes me feel rather clandestine, sneaky or stealthy,  depending upon the level of control I wish to exert.

As I work in retail, the amount of script I have to deliver to complete a sale now also contains this advice. I love it! As a matter of fact, I don’t care if they make up a totally fake one except I am sure they keep track of the “undeliverable” emails each person collects.

I should mention at this point that asking for email addresses can lead to some unexpected answers. I guarantee that the average of people with an “@aol” account measures closer to 70 than 60, that the guy with the greasy hair and ripped Fleshgod Apocalypse t-shirt has an email address he should have changed  when he became eligible for a driver’s license, and then the hello-kitty crowd are almost too saccharine to make you wish the death metal dude was back. Oh, the travails of the working girl.

I am hoping that this gets this email fixation out of my system and I can return to the more important aspects of the interweb.

NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT

ADHD HOUSEKEEPING (OR MECCA LECCA HI, MECCA HINEY HO)

May 17, 2012 Leave a comment

Can this be true? Of course it can:

  1. Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney hoRe-pot new plants
  2. Clean mess from potting plants
  3. Dry table from potting plants
  4. Dishes
  5. Laundry
  6. Clean Oven(Actually cleaning itself after I accidentally used furniture polish on it.)
  7. Fold yesterday’s Laundry
  8. Iron (I don’t believe it, either.)
  9. Throw rubber chicken for dog
  10. Try and find camera to take picture of dog with chicken in mouth
  11. Check internet
  12. Decide to write blog entry….WAIT–BACK TO WORK, YOU SLACKER!
I have reached the end for today…tomorrows list will be to finish today’s list.

I have no middle ground. For some reason I seem to think that I can do one week’s worth of chores in one day. I am currently undergoing READING WITHDRAWAL  and must return to it for rejuvenation.

Oh, wait, there is dinner or there is cookies for dinner. The nice thing about cookies for dinner is that it leaves a free hand for reading!

TIME USED TO BE LONGER OR WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?

November 21, 2011 Leave a comment


I remember thinking I would be like all those other women who, when seen on tv or in magazines, seem to be able to do everything and still wake up with smiles on their faces, dinners planned, laundry done and the ability to still have free time to do only what they wanted to do. I always assumed this was able to be accomplished in the traditional 24 hours in a day. I didn’t realize that it was a complete misrepresentation of time and the ability to accomplish. No, it was a falsified world that I failed to identify as false.

This was all before ADHD would be identified as one of the contributing factors to my inability to focus. So, therefore, I always attributed it to a character flaw that put me in the “failed” column of “What a Perfect Person Should Be.”

Okay, I think I have finally figured it out. I have an overwhelming need to not miss anything. And, by “anything,” I mean “ANYTHING.” This applies to: books, news, movies, television, music, and any other form of information that is out there. This works out perfect for my other quirk, introversion. I can live quite well in a cave with the only external information coming to me in the form of non-personhood. I do pretty well one on one for a limited amount of time, but basically, I am a reclusive misanthrope. Now those of you who know me also know that this seems incongruous. It is not. For, while I am an introvert, I am not shy. At work I can small talk with the best of them while in the back of my head is solitude.

This means that facebook and google+ was made just for me. It fills the need to let me know information of all of those in my personal life. This also includes friends I have never met. It also allows me to “like” a variety of news sources, social sites, and organizations without even having to leave the sanctity of my “cave.” I am not sure where this is heading, but I started this whole thing wanting to turn all of you on to how books affect my life. (See photo!) And how, on my day off I am brought to tears while watching the National Book Award show on C-span.

While the dishes go undone, the laundry unwashed, the dishes sitting in the sink, I am watching this amazing acceptance speech from Nikky Finney. Watch her acceptance speech at Nikky Finney’s 2011 National Book Award in Poetry acceptance speech. I was sobbing by the end. So, screw Aunt Bea, I am a lazy, good-for-nothing slackard heading to hell in a handbasket. But, I sure know a lot across a broad spectrum of the useless information which would be a great thing if I were on Jeopardy, but really means that my house is a mess and I am happy.

Categories: books, my life

What I have been doing…

October 27, 2011 Leave a comment

I am shamelessly stealing this idea from all of the others who have done it before.

Ha Jin re-creates the terror, the harrowing deprivations, and the menace of unexpected violence that defined life in Nanjing during the occupation. I have read Waiting by the same author and found it to be a subtle and moving understatement of life’s expectations. This is not that book, but in its own way shows the same underpinnings of human nature.

Haven’t started this one yet, but it will provide a respite from Waiting. More on this one later. I haven’t read the previous book by this author, but I admit I was drawn in by the title. We’ll see.

The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb.  Melanie Benjamin

Both of these titles are checked out from the library on my nook. At least I don’t have to find a place to stack them. (See previous post.)

Categories: books

What ADHD has done for me

October 27, 2011 Leave a comment

At age 64 I think I am finally giving up the pursuit of perfection in my being. At least, I hope I have. It is a strange thing to be diagnosed at 50 and to have it explain the missing achievements of the past.  So, as I look around my bedroom at the stacks of clothes not put away, books not read, drawers left half-open I find that I finally want to let go of the feeling of failing for being able to keep it things in the perfect order that I have been brainwashed into believing that they should be.

I am absolutely certain that the number of broken bones I have incurred, the cuts, the falls, the clumsiness can be attributed to the ADHD. While my career as a ballerina was in no way affected since it was never a goal, I can see why so many things in my life happened the way they did. Crazy parental behavior played a part in it, also. By the time high school graduation arrived I had lived in no fewer than four states, twelve cities and, at a minimum, fifteen houses, apartments, and hovels. This does not include the few empty houses my mother broke into so we wouldn’t sleep in an alley somewhere.

All of this has led to a strange affliction of self doubt, feelings of total insecurity and an absolute tendency to say whatever is on my mind at the most inopportune moments. It has also created an individual that has survived much of with a wicked sense of humor, a cornucopia of useless knowledge and a level of guilt that I am now totally willing to pass on to some void in the sky.

Meanwhile, the pile of books sets untouched, the clothes are easier to get to and I have to go now and do something that doesn’t require me to sit still for more that 10 minute.

WHAT I AM WILLING TO DO, WON’T YOU, TOO?

July 11, 2011 Leave a comment

This is my commitment: I will send this letter to anyone in the public eye who chooses to use any derogatory phrase when referring to any minority. I have been aware of the pain that this type of rhetoric causes from the time I first saw fire hoses used upon civil rights workers in the 50s. Will you please join me in this pledge and recognize that the time and the cost spent for this is action is minimal when you look at how every small action against hate of any kind is a victory! I will edit this as necessary to address the specifics of this type of hateful behavior.

This particular letter is being sent to : Gordon Beckham and DSean Jackson.

Dear ——

I am taking this time to write to you about your recent homophobic remarks. Unfortunately, this is occurring far too often with the athletes that the youth of the United States admire. I am certain that if you look around your family, your friends, and your teammates you will find a gay or Lesbian person there. As certain as I am that there is at least one such person there, I am also certain that you would never want hateful slurs to be directed to them.

In view of these facts, I am hoping that in the future you will only make positive statements when referring to this segment of our society. I don’t think that name calling or bullying was ever anything your mother wanted you to do with your fame. As a mother and a grandmother I am hoping that you would take the time to apologize for these remarks and apologize to your mother and your fans for having used them.

Thank you for your attention to this critical matter. I wish you a long and healthy career and hope that you never suffer from the unkind words of others.

Sincerely,

ONE OF THE FIRST EXPERIENCES IN THE NORTHLAND

July 11, 2011 Leave a comment

Who would ever have expected that a simple change in the pronunciation of a word could bring about such confusion. After moving to Minnesota over 35+ years ago, my first trip through the Upper Peninsula of Michigan would surprise the hell out of me. There were signs saying “PASTIES IN FIVE MILES,” ‘GET YOUR PASTIES IN THREE MILES,’ and ‘YOU CAN’T BEAT OUR PASTIES.”

I moved here from Los Angeles, I knew what pasties were since I had, upon occasion, used them myself. Little did I know that the UP was the producer of such dancing accoutrements.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered they were simply a pocket pie filled with meat and vegetables. I should have known. It turns out that Michigan has more statues of Mary in a Bathtub than any other state in the union.

(By the way, the state motto of Michigan is: “If you want to see a nice peninsula, just look around.” It sounds classier in French.)

THINGS HALF STARTED AND THINGS HALF DONE

July 10, 2011 Leave a comment


Today I thought I was going to go to the grocery store by myself. Ha ha! With my more giant than usual right food, it was going to require some extra special maneuvering. Ha ha! Stretching my right leg over to the passenger side of the car so that I could drive with my left foot. I don’t think there is a yoga pose that would have prepared me for that task. So, it appears that I will have to hunt down a chauffeur for tomorrow’s trip. That will give me time to hone my list into a OCD map for efficiency.

So, what will I do instead. Oh, my side of the bed is still waiting for some tender loving care. Big foot or not, this is a truly daunting task! It requires moving books that I haven’t touched in months but will want to read immediately upon storing them away. I thought my nook color was going to help with this problem. That is why I have over 200 books to read on the nook and have only brought home a limited number of books since then. Limited, my ass! Limited by only the number I can stack and blend into the others to justify my behavior as non-hoarding. Stay tune for the before and after of this exciting project.