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HOARDING EVERYTHING (AND I MEAN EVERYTHING!)

January 21, 2015 Leave a comment

hoarding3 (1)There are many of you out there who have seen or experienced my selective hoarding and failed OCD behaviors. The one I am most comfortable admitting to is my book hoarding. There is also the tchotchkes that litter my home and show my eclectic interest in pigs, elephants, religious icons, kitchen “stuff” and the never to be forgotten dust.

This morning Kim and I were using his day off to kick back and spend some relaxing time bopping around the internet. At one point, I said I wish they would invent something like a pair of glasses that could be used to manipulate the cursor on the computer screen eliminating the need for the physical manipulation through the mouse or keyboard. I know that something like that exists for the differently-abled population, but my needs would not require that degree of sophistication. Something like the soon to be discontinued Google glasses that would be cost-effective and allow me control the computer without wireless keyboard and wireless mouse.

Guy-Google-Glasses-iconAnd here is where the hoarding raises its ugly head. The truth is that at this point in time I have 31 tabs up and running for the current session. I also have 27 file folders on the bookmark bar that allow me to over 200+ additional sites that I may have a need for immediate access at any given point in time. These folders include “BOOKS” with its four sub-folders and 24 sites, or “NEW” with one sub-folder and 34 sites and the one titled “ok” meaning I need to get to these sites before logging off and leaving them just hanging in cyberspace purgatory.

Many have mocked me for this behavior (you know who you are.) Even I admit it’s ridiculous. I even found a kindred soul out there in webland with many of the same symptoms. waka waka waka knows of which I speak. He describes it thusly, “It’s the result of skittering about the Web reading items that contain links, opening the links for a moment in a new tab, and going back to what you were reading before or on to something else.” which hits the nail on the proverbial head.

Now, for the desired wish of those “special” glasses. All of this “tab hoarding” would be unnecessary if, with the blink of an eye, pages could be read and closed without the wasted time of keyboard strokes or mouse clicking. Plus, as an added bonus, the prevention of carpal tunnel syndrome.

So, get on with it you inventor friends of mine. I need to conserve energy and time so that I can use it for more meaningful activities. Like, not being forced into a sleep state because of energy wasted when a nod of the head would suffice or rearranging the hoarded books that I have glossed over so far.funny-cartoon-book-hoarder

(By the way, faithful readers, be sure and bookmark my blog so you can keep up with any and all additions. Thank you very much.)

Categories: books, my life Tags: , ,

LEARNING THANKFULNESS

January 9, 2015 Leave a comment

tiny-green-buddha-

I have spent much of my thinking about being mindfully thankful. I’m certain that thankfulness passed through my mind at various times of the year and just doesn’t get acknowledged or passed over so quickly I am not even aware that it has occurred. I vow to find at least one thing a day and be honestly thankful for the wonder of my life. It need not be noticeable or an earth shattering event to elicit this reaction.

With the chaos of the daily world assaulting us on an hourly basis, it is easy to forget how grateful we could be for our own little corner of life. I have withdrawn from the news in trying to do this. Unfortunately I am hopelessly addicted to the news and needed to find another way to deal with these atrocities. I think I have found it.

I discovered 60 Things to be Grateful for in Life while googling “thankfulness” out in “web-world.” I will use it daily and add small, seemingly insignificant things I usually overlook as I go through my day. I hope you do, too.

Categories: family, friend, meaning of life, my life Tags:

I KNOW I PROMISED NO MORE HEALTH UPDATES, BUT I LIED.

December 3, 2013 Leave a comment

Broken-Promise-300x244In my last post I know I promised that health issues would be verboten in the future. I lied. While that was my goal, things took another turn in the Days Of Sarah’s Health.

I was having difficulty regulating my blood pressure, experiencing vertigo, and having a rapid pulse among a variety of other symptoms. After innumerable visits to the doctor it was decided I had POT Syndrome. Let there be no remarks from the peanut gallery regarding the name, please. I have already drawn all of the conclusions there are to draw without any help whatsoever.

Settling on that diagnosis, the doctors then decided that perhaps a CT scan of the brain would eliminate that one in a million chance there was a brain tumor. Well, no brain tumor, however…as was explained to me, an incidental diagnosis determined I had an aneurysm. One of those pesky precursors to a stroke that those of my age start to have nightmares about. It is a subdural cranial aneurysm that is 7mm in size. That’s not a great size. Why? Well, 7mm is on the cusp of doing something about it or letting it go and monitoring it. More CT scans, MRIs and doctor visits led to an appointment at Abbot Northwestern for a Cerebral Angiography.

I have been fairly paralyzed by this for about a week. Then slowly I have come to grips with it and have an abiding belief that everything will be FINE! That “FINE!” is to pronounced with the longest “F” sound possible.

So, my appointment is on the 11th. The goal was to get all of this in before the end of the year since I have hit my max out of pocket expenses for the year and after the first I will be on Medicare. So, that should explain my absence except for the occasional inappropriate comment or political rant.

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH A PYREX BOWL

September 5, 2013 1 comment

ilovethis hbowlI love these bowls. I first came across the small on the left by some means I can’t recall. It is the best bowl for soup (lip for gulping the last of the broth.) any Asian food with rice or noodles (a place for your thumb so you can balance the bowl next to your mouth for easy shoveling,) or any damn thing you want to eat out of it in whatever way you see fit! The Amish pattern is quaint and once I looked at it closely I realized I loved it. Who knew I would like “Quaint?”

pyresWhen Kim and I got married it was clear that there would be some struggle over the single bowl in our pantry. Since shopping online is my new favorite thing to do, eBay, here I come. I found a complete set of the nesting bowls and at a reasonable price and I snapped them right up. Problem solved…two small bowls and a complete set to boot. Well, except for the fact that I came across this picture and almost lost my resolve to stop before I got too carried away!

I am at the point now that I am going to put sticky notes on the variety of bowls, containers, pots, pans, Rubbermaid products and if I don’t use them in a month they are going to go live somewhere else. I teeter on the edge of hoarding and maybe if I get rid of the stuff I have taking up valuable shelf space in the kitchen, I can more easily dedicate myself to trying to get rid of those size 10 jeans that have been in my wardrobe since 1987!

Categories: family, food, my life, what about it Tags:

I’M GLAD IT’S TODAY

September 4, 2013 Leave a comment

Yesterday was a doozy. I was having a day and filled it with as much self-pity, pissing and moaning and hand wringing as I could muster. I filled every dramatic skill  in my repertoire of . Pity party par excellence–and the award goes to…
trophy

A lot of it had to do with health issues and that turned out as a kick in the butt to get my energy into a more positive vein. I was so frustrated I hit the internet with a vengeance and ended up finding a lot of information that I needed to know a year ago. So, I suppose there i was a purpose in that whiny interlude.

Other than that, things are going well. As my energy level increases I look forward to doing more and more. When taking a shower and washing one’s hair becomes a giant step worthy of noting as an accomplishment, well, I just have to take it and run with it. (The sound of the crowd is overwhelming you right about now.)

Each day I am more and more grateful for the my family and friends. All of you have kept me on the road to recovery in the best possible way and have helped me accomplish as much as I have. I may piss and moan yet, I know my life is a walk in the park compared to some.

And, just to help me keep track of my very own reality…Piglet shows me the way.

poo

SHE’S BACK!!!

August 29, 2013 1 comment

keep-calm-cause-she-s-back-RESDear Friends and Loved Ones:

I know it has been a while since my presence was felt on the interweb, but I am here to put an end to it. If you want the short version here it is: I am well on my way to recovery and will be back to full strength soon.

For the stronger of heart and those who are dying for the details, read on.

The surgery I had on August 9th was to restore my body back to somewhat normal operation. Didn’t happen. All of you know that it wouldn’t be a medical episode unless somewhere along the line someone says, “It was the worst I had ever seen.” That’s what happened this time. Again. The takedown process on the ileostomy wasn’t possible. There was about a foot of my large intestines that had not been getting the blood supply that it needed to stay alive and as a direct result, it died. So, I will have an ostomy forever and will make poop jokes as often as I can. I am not freaked by it, it has basically been an “It is what it is” experience.

The reason I have not been discussing it before now came about because of the complications after the surgery. My adrenal glands failed and I ended up in Intensive Care for three days. Luckily I don’t remember this at all except for the part where they tied my hands to the bed rails because I wanted to pull the NG tube out. They were smart to not believe me because I was fibbing and we all knew it.

I ended up back on the floor pumped full of steroids with a body that resembled the Michelin tire mascot and with a bit more time than we expected in the hospital. I know, “Hard to believe.” For those interested in what I call the “I’ve never seen this before!” Nurse Award I will tell you that when they gave me the medicine to get all the fluid out of my body I ended up with 7 liters of pee pee (urine) bloating my pee pee bag and causing a general round of gasps on the floor.

It has taken until today for me to feel like venturing out of my self-imposed recovery and perspective adjustment period and I will definitely be back raising hell at full throttle within a day or so. Thanks for all of your support and understanding. I am sure that it was and will continue as a source of healing for me.

Categories: health, my life Tags:

YES, THOSE ARE MY FEET. HARD TO BELIEVE, ISN’T IT?

August 5, 2013 Leave a comment
LOOK MY RIGHT FOOT IS DOING A MODIFIED PEACE SIGN!

LOOK MY RIGHT FOOT IS DOING A MODIFIED PEACE SIGN!

Anyone that has known me for any length of time knows that I have denied having feet at all. I have had, what I call, BUTT UGLY FEET all my life. At about 27 I was lucky enough (if you want to call it that) to need surgery to have bunions removed so I could walk more than two steps.  After that there were years of hiding the feet since every time I looked at them all I saw were monster feet.

As I aged they continued to disappoint me more and more. Growing from size 9 to 10-11 with sausage toes that started growing in their own little directions, I would only go barefoot at home and still tried to hide them when someone else was in the room. This would have been fine for the rest of my life without my wonderful girl child intervening.

“Mom, you really should get a pedicure, you wouldn’t believe how great it is!” “Sure, sure,” I under my breath which roughly translated into “It’ll be a cold day in hell!” This was the same phrase I had said to a friend a few years ago knowing I would never-ever-ever let anyone touch my feet!

Fortunately, I will be going for surgery on Friday and I looked at my feet that were truly turning chicken claws and my resolve dissolved, so to speak. She the and I entered the salon with my head hung in shame, apologizing all the way to the huge, massaging recliner where I would submit to the horror of it all. As he brought out the tools of torture that I knew were going were insufficient to the task. I thought of suggesting a belt sander, but held my tongue.

Slowly but surely I felt my resistance waning. There was the vibrating chair on my tortured back, the warm, bubbly water relaxing my clenched toes and the next thing I knew, my feet were almost pretty! The foot massage he administered forced me to admit, “Hey, this isn’t so bad after all!” Darling daughter picked out the polish, the coup de grâce being the dazzling, sparkles. You know, I might do this again and again and again, and I have no problem admitting that once again I was WRONG!

NOT THE BEST NEWS, BUT NOT THE WORST, EITHER.

July 16, 2013 2 comments

4:30 AM starts the day off, or finishes the night off as I fell asleep around 3:15. And, oh, how i would have loved to pull that blanket over my head and pretend I was Grace Jones for just a few more minutes. After all I don’t have to be at the hospital until 7:30. And that would have been fine except the Monk in me kicked in. If I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 and a shower and face fix and hair comb only take an hour, theoretically, I could go back to bed until 6AM. Fat chance!

invisible2There I was, having completed all the assigned tasks as assigned to myself for being presentable at the hospital. Well, except one. I think I am going to take a survey of how many people can successfully give them selves a fleet enema at 5 in the damned morning with the sun coming up and the birds twittering a song which I swear is “Na na na na noo noo.” Finally I decide, they’ve put up with a lot worse than someone showing up without giving themselves the prescribed torture prep.

There I am, bright and shiny, at 7:30 just waiting. And waiting quite calmly due to the effects of ATAVAN. When I say that I add a flourish so that is comes out A-A-TA-V-A-A-AN.  This makes it sound to me like I am calling for butthole M-A-A-AN. you know kind of like Super Dog, Mighty Man, WONDER WOMA-A-A-N.  Kinda like my own personal super pill.

When I say “Drugs are our Friends,” I mean it. I am too damned old to be trying to toughen up and take it like a, a what, an idiot. No thanks, pass that Atavan and keep it coming. It makes the fact the first x-ray machine was broken and after thrashing around for half an hour while the machine was manipulated needlessly because the DAMN THING WAS BROKE. It’s not one of those things you kick and go, “Yep, I think tha’s going to do it.”

Hey, here’s an idea, let’s take this cranky old lady who has been suffering by being confined to this rock hard surface and try and delicately move her onto a rolling torture vehicle to another room where the second machine will surely work. Glory be, it does. The drawback to this room is the unnatural twist to my head as I view the x-ray in progress. Now, I’m not a doctor, but I could immediately see the situation had not improved, and in fact had worsened. That was when SHIT, FU*K started bouncing off the walls in this small , metal enclosure. I only said it twice. I thought it another 145 times.

That parts over and it’s time to see my wonderful Doc who is going to tell me what I already know. Starting semi over. Removing some more of the large intestines, rehooking the two ends back up and waiting three months to see if it works this time. This all started a year and a week ago. It kind of reminds be of groundhog day…or the song: Here We Go Again…So around the middle August I will be layed out on a stainless steel table with masked avengers hovering around me looking forward to digging into an abdominal cavity that has seen better days.

And me, well, I’ll read, try not to get caught up in Candy Crush again, sneak as much chocolate into my diet as I can, followed by cheesecake and let out one of my little snorts which translate to, “So, what else is ne?”

The real bummer. My best friends are getting married on August 23 after living together in sin for over 25 years. I thank them for the effort and energy they have expended in their lives together to reach this point. Way to go…best wishes, mazel tov and don’t let the bastards get you down.

OSTOMSM

MY NEW TOY (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER)

June 17, 2013 Leave a comment

I have managed to put on all the weight that I lost during my medical hurdles last year. That is due to my lack of willpower, lemon pound cakes and avoiding exercise. Hard to believe that would allow 30 pounds to jump on my ass in a mere 6 months. Well, believe it.

I am paying the greatest price for having smoked for 42 years with the big Emphysema. That means that exercise is fairly low impact and basically consists of walking. On flat surfaces. I can see myself as that person prancing around the mall at 7AM. As if I would get up at that time to walk, much less at the mall. But, that is probably the  answer. I will have to walk alone since walking and talking are not compatible now. Maybe when I get more in shape and lose some weight that will change, but being the huffer (not heifer) and puffer that I am I am just going to walk against the clock, head down and hoping no one recognizes me.

NUTRIBULLETI have already lost five pounds. I give the credit to my new toy. I have only made a few major errors with it. Finding out that kale is cruciferous, along with my other favorite vegetables was a real drag. Discovering that I would prefer to eat a raw carrot than drink one was a pure joy.

I don’t think I could eat a banana, a cup of raspberries, an orange, almond milk and yogurt for breakfast, but I can sure drink it. Having this be a basis for two meals with no real carbohydrates or added sugar is a real bonus. I have to grind my flax seed and add it along with protein power to round this all out to bonus levels of energy.

I don’t recommend this as the only juicing machine out there, I am sure there are many that are just as good, all I can really say is this one is amazing. So amazing I got one for my daughter who is now making smoothies for herself and her family.

Now to move on to the exercise stage of this venture. Does walking to and from the refrigerator count?

Categories: food, health, my life Tags:

OSTEOWARRIORS, UNITE!

May 17, 2013 Leave a comment

poop bagI know that most of you know about the past year’s worth of surgery, testing, relapse and on and on and on.  I at peace with the process now and I just want to share what a very good friend I made from down in the South (you know who you are, Allie) who helped tremendously with the process of getting to this point and with a woman up here in the Northland (and,  yes,  Ellen it’s you!) who has also been a constant source of realism and humor!

Well, if you don’t have enough information by now, did you know WE HAVE A DAY? Unfortunately, it seems random depending on where you are, so I have decided EVERYDAY IS OSTOMY DAY! And there are even LOVE NOTES, T-SHIRTS (Of course there are T-SHIRTS!), NURSES, PAPER DOLLS, COMING OUT STICKERS and too much detail. Besides, I think I have already overwhelmed you!

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So, from here on out, thanks to Ellen, I will be known as:

PRINCESS WILD COW

OSTEOWARRIOR