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I BROKE MY FOOT–CRAP!

What a exciting week for My Right Foot I (hereafter referred to as MRF.) I started Monday off with the first day of my two in a row off. That meant get as much done on Monday as I possible could so that I could spend Tuesday being a slob, also known as lying around, reading, surfing the web, generally doing nothing, in other words. What’s that line?  “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.” Robert Burns jumped up and bit me in the ass.

First part of the day was spent shopping. Oh, joy. Best Buy, SuperOne, Target and finally, Office Max. For all of you that know me, I was ready to explode.  At Office Max smiled and asked, “Are you having a nice day?” Now I work retail, I say all the things I’m supposed to say and at that moment I turned into the worst customer I could ever have. “It’s going to be great once I get home, I am suffering from retail overload and am ready to explode from exposure to flourescent lights.” Charming, I’m sure. He stumbled through the rest of the transaction and I heard a visible sigh of relief as the doors closed behind me.

Home again, home again jiggity jig. That always runs through my mind as I pull into the driveway, pop the van open, unload the groceries and start on the in home chores. In the middle of putting the groceries away, I decided to do a load of laundry so that I would be doing two things at once. Oh, and as long as I was in the basement I could clean the catbox. Joy, oh, joy. Karma for rudeness I realized. I grabbed the trash bags and headed down the stairs. Okay, I started down the stairs at a full rush. Eager to clean that cat box? No, not really, just fast is the only speed I know.

Wait, I also know STOP. And I came to a full one when my left foot went out from under me and my right foot bent a full 180° in the WRONG direction. I tried to “cow-person up” and hobbled over to the cat box and immediately knew that changing it wasn’t an option. So, I threw in a load of laundry, limped upstairs, then looked at my foot and went, oops, maybe I should get this x-rayed. Yep, it’s broke and it sure has slowed me down. As in “immobilized” me. So, here I am, sharing the news and letting you know that I have heard that lemon bars help heal bones, oh, and white chocolate raspberry cheese cake, and I don’t want to forget the ever healing properties of chocolate.

ADDENDUM: FOR THOSE CONCERNED WITH MY SHOPPING AT TARGET: I ONLY SHOP THERE WHEN THEY HAVE WHAT IS CALLED A “LOSS LEADER.” THAT IS SOMETHING THAT THEY SELL FOR LESS THAN WHAT THEY PAID FOR IT AND USE IT TO LURE PEOPLE INTO THE STORE TO SPEND EXTRA $$$ ON IMPULSE. I ONLY PURCHASE THE LOSS LEADER, THEREBY COSTING THEM MONEY AND USE MY DEBIT CARD TO PAY SO THEY HAVE TO ALSO PAY THE FEES. I FEEL BETTER NOW!

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