For My Friend
I have been thinking of this friend a lot lately. A life that is on the “Where do I fit and what does it all mean and who am I?” trek and it is definitely a tough one. Trust me, I know.
I have been wanting to say something of great importance to him, the problem being, “How do I sum up my philosophy of life and pass that on?” (Be prepared, this is momentous.) It began with the concept of how does one explain happiness? How does one know when one is happy? Does happy even count? On and on and on. This was certainly one of the most important things I was going to say in my life and it had to be just perfect. (I hate it when imperfect maxims come back and bite me in the ass.)
So, here is how it became resolved for me. I was making a cheese sandwich. I reached in the refrigerator and grabbed the Miracle Whip. Now, I remember the days (the “single-it’s all about me” days) when having a jar of Miracle Whip in my refrigerator would have caused me to go into a rant about the supremacy of Hellman’s Mayonnaise and “How could anybody ever eat this shit?”
The lightning bolt hit! I had it. The secret to my knowing about my place in life was simply not worrying about which was better. It didn’t matter. All I wanted was a damned cheese sandwich and no damned argument with myself was going to ruin the pleasure of making and eating it.
So, the meaning of life can be summed up in this statement…
MAYONNAISE OR MIRACLE WHIP — IT DOESN’T MATTER!
Now, if that isn’t profound, I don’t know what is!
(Except for the second meaning of life, which is comfortable shoes.)
WHATEVER WAS I THINKING? 